On biphobia and “monosexual privilege”

This page is an overview of my thoughts on this issue and it is subject to change. I highly encourage you to check all the links here before sending me any kind of rebuttal or question on these topics.

Why I don’t believe monosexual privilege exists

I don’t think the privilege / oppression binary is an effective model to discuss bisexual-gay relations. I actually find the privilege-oppression binary to be a ill-suited way to make any kind of deeper, more nuanced, or complex analysis of any issue of oppression or social stigma. But it is especially damaging when it comes to intracommunity issues like biphobia. It’s also important for people to not over-simplify the issues around visibility versus invisibility: gay people are more visible than bi people but this does not make them more or less oppressed than bi people are.

As a Jewish Bisexual, I think one useful comparison is between biphobia and antisemitism: anyone can be antisemitic, but it’s not like people have “non-Jew privilege.” Such a model would erase Islamophobia in the west.

Why I avoid using the terms “monosexual” or “monosexism”

  • The terms upset gay people and may make this conversation harder
  • The terms lump gay people with their oppressors
  • The terms can obfuscate the actual model of oppression that explains homophobia and biphobia
  • The terms can create confusion

The model I think explains our heterosexist society best is a gay-straight binary in which gay people are seen as sexual deviants and lesser while straight people are seen as normative and superior, whilst bi people are erased and lumped one way or the other. I explain this model further in this video and this post.

That said, it’s important to note that using terms like “monosexual” or “monosexism” is not the same as believing in monosexual privilege. These words have different uses and a bi person who uses those terms does not necessarily believe in monosexual privilege. One difficulty is the language around bi discourse is in its infancy and can be difficult to perfect given that the discourse is continually distorted, erased and attacked. I don’t believe in dismissing points bisexual or multisexual people make just because they use terms like “monosexual” or “monosexism,“ even though I myself eschew using those terms and encourage others to avoid them.

To continue the antisemitism analogy: Jews use the terms “goyim” and “gentiles” to refer to non-Jews, but we don’t think all non-Jews are privileged for being non-Jewish. However, the term is useful for Jews to denote outsiders. “Monosexual" probably has a similar use for many bi people and like “goyim” it doesn’t necessarily imply privilege. Also, some people use the term “monosexism” to be more inclusive of other identities beyond bisexual (i.e. pansexual people).

I advocate for avoiding the use of these terms, however, since they are so charged and create confusion. Also, considering gay people and bi people both face heterosexism and should work toward solidarity, I think we as bi people should respect how gay people feel about labels like this–our relations differ from that of Gentile-Jew relations in this way. Further, I think biphobia is the best term for this form of discrimination I have thus found. I ask bi people to consider the costs of using terms like “monosexual” or ‘monosexism” because I think they outweigh the benefits.

Why I don’t think biphobia is “horizontal oppression” or that gay biphobia and bi homophobia is an issue that “goes both ways”

This does not mean I think gay people are privileged over bi people. We need to discard the binary model of privileged oppression versus horizontal oppression when we talk about this issue. As I have explained, this model falls short in terms of addressing numerous issues.  

One thing to consider is how a lot of biphobic discourse among gay people is prevalent in our media and offline in gay spaces, but the radical bi ideas about monosexual privilege are not. You rarely run into them outside of tumblr, let alone offline. I still think those ideas are damaging and deserve being called out, but it’s important not to make false equivalences and keep things in perspective. I also wish people would remain more level-headed when calling out errors among bi people, remembering that we are all queer and divisiveness is hurtful to all of us.

This link provides more explanation on how gay-bi relations are neither a privilege-oppression dynamic nor a horizontal oppression dynamic. I especially recommend it for those who aren’t convinced of this stance or are confused by it.

Last Thoughts

One of the biggest problems with this conversation is defensiveness and anger on both sides. Too often, lesbians will shut down what bi women say as “lesbophobic” without listening, or acknowledging that the (admittedly hurtful and inaccurate) discourse bi people develop is a response to the prominent horizontal oppression model used to dismiss biphobia. Many bi people (rightfully) reject the horizontal oppression model and then (wrongfully) cling to the privilege / oppression model because they don’t see any other option. Because so many activists act like the only options are horizontal oppression or privilege/oppression, many bi people think the latter is the only choice. Further, many are frustrated with how gay people think statements of monosexual privilege not existing are the end of the conversation, whilst perpetuating biphobia or remaining silent about it. 

A lot of gay people do not give bi people the benefit of the doubt in this conversation or acknowledge where bi people are coming from. They assume any errors in bi people’s discourse around this stem from hatred of gay people as opposed to frustration with how the discourse has been structured, the pervasiveness of biphobia that remains unaddressed, and the ubiquity and harmfulness of the horizontal oppression model. I’ve also seen many gay people who are quick to attack bi people and distort their ideas or make assumptions about their beliefs.

As I said in this post, I think the first step to improving this conversation is rejecting both models to explain bi-gay relations. Taking this step will result in gay people being more cognizant of their role in biphobia, gay people taking steps to decrease biphobia in the community and promote dialogues about bi discourse, bi people being less hurtful toward gay people in their discourse, bi people listening to gay people about their experiences and factoring that into their discourse, and bi people being more nuanced and productive in their discourse. Until that happens, I don’t think anything will change. 

More links to check out:

On biphobia not being horizontal oppression but also not being a privilege / oppression dynamic here and here

More on the non-existence of monosexual privilege here

Biphobia in the lesbian community here and here 

On bi people experiencing compulsory heterosexuality

On the non-existence of straight passing privilege and how it relates to bisexuals here 

To learn more about biphobia in general, check out my biphobia tag.

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